Some friends of mine have started a new site, Girly Gazatte. The site is about how women need to have positive relationships with other women, mostly. They have lots of cool articles about motherhood, fashion and many other things that make you think.
In their kick off week they posted an article about who is in your tribe. (The blog has since been taken down.)
I had left a comment about who I thought was in my tribe. I have a group of ladies that I have devoted a great deal of my time to in the past and I thought they would always be there for me. However, last weekend I had something happen that makes me question that.
I realize that relationships take some nurturing and work. However, I guess I may have not nurtured that relationship as much as I should have in the last year. Our family inherited a business and as any of you know that own a business the first year is often the most trying. So I have not been around for my friends as much as I used to be. Now understand that I had spent 7 years as the leader and resigned a couple of years ago to help raise my step kids. Our family was still quite involved with the group.
Our family helped with a couple of functions a year providing entertainment. Last year they came to me and said they would like to try something different at one function, and I understood. It was business and they needed to be able to pull a crowd. My hubby didn’t understand and took it kinda personal. I discussed this with the group. I chalked this up to male egoism.
Then last week we offered to provide entertainment for the function we did last year and possibly the other one. I sent an email explaining the issue that that we would be giving up a gig at the new business to do these functions. I got no response. Then later in the week got a group email stating that someone else was hired.
I felt confused. On one hand I understand it’s business. On the other hand just one email would have made me feel that they understood and show me the path they wanted to take. I don’t expect to get every gig. I don’t expect much. An email letting me know they received mine and wanted to do something different would have been the nice thing.
Needless to say this really makes me question who is in my tribe? Who has my back? Who will be there when I need something or someone? How much does a tribe need to be nurtured? Do tribes change as you move to different places in your life? Do you need a sub-tribe for work friends, mom friends, fun friends, etc.?
I have never been one to have tons of friends, kinda is part of being a nerdy engineering kinda gal. Most of my tribe growing up and through school were guys. So dealing with a group of ladies has always been interesting, but kinda thought I had made headway. Gives me some new perspective.
So how do you nurture your tribe?